when he holds my hand my stomach quivers like a thousans butterflies. when we go out together it's funny and sweet and i don't want it to end. we talk about books and argue about god and drugs then kiss before we part.
i like him. but for the record, i know nothing about love.
i'm just winging it, sure that i must know when i feel such a beast.
i hope he trusts me but i know he finds it hard. and i don't mind that, how can i when i barely trust myself?
the only thing that scares me is what if he stops liking me? i'm terrified of being unliked, unloved, unwanted. what if i get my heart broken? i mean, how can you know? how can you know what another person thinks or feels?
you just, can't.
he's seen me in fits of giggles, with tear stained cheeks, cut up arms, starving limbs. he's pushed that awful chair when i could not even walk, played songs to me written from the heart. he use take the cheese of my pasta when no one was looking because it scared me so and tell me i was pretty even in weigh in clothes.
i want him know i'm sorry for not realising sooner that he means such a lot to me. and i don't want anyone's fairytale to end.
- ▼ August (4)