i'll be here. waiting for you. far away from everyone.

i want to tell you that i'm not getting better; that even though i'm eat more i'm still losing weight, still obessing over ever calorie, still walking to burn the fat away, still lying through my teeth day on day.

but i can't tell you because then someone might try to stop me, might lock me away again but this time, throw away the key.

and i know it's not that i can't get better, it's that i won't.

i'm too distorted, i'm looking through a kaleidscope of fragmented colours and shape. i keep blurring, i keep dipping, below the horizon and into the swell.

i love you little world. i hope your twothousanthandeleventh year is wonderful and fine.

x xx

hope. happiness. hugs.

happy christmas little world x xx

swimming with stars and fishing for comets, someone hold me, never let me go.

dear universe,

please send some inspiration this way.

many thanks,

the girl who's paper heart is missing it's ink scrawls.